If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARXI love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX