Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARXDie in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Time wounds all heels.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX