I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARXDie in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX