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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.

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Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West

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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Hear Memories Past Stop Story
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Age Birthday Interesting Subject
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Crazy Decent Life Meal Place Reality
Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Angry Funny One Liner Towel
The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Bore Hole Insult Run
Time wounds all heels.
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Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Bouquet Bride Groom Hollywood Marriage Throw
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Humour Madness One Liner Reason

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