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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.

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Die Halfway Heaven One Liner West

Bagwalas

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX

Healing Inspirational Life One Liner Time Wound
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Art Humour Water
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Bed Inspirational Lazy One Liner Worth
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
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Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Freedom Money Thinking
Any place I hang my head is home.
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Hang Head Home One Liner Place
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Fly Love Money Reality Truth
I only write first editions.
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Attitude Edition One Liner Writing
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Funny Girlfriend Meet Naughty Wife
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Attitude Down Human Nature Myself Pick
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Children Fetch Funny Understand
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Exception Face Forget Humour
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Humour Meet Night Own Theater
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance

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