I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARXShe got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX