The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARXShe got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX






