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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX

Comedy Funny Humour Nickle Pocket
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Almony Dead Divorce Funny Horse Pay
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Event Eyes Happiness Inspirational Morning Myself Power Present Unhappiness
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Funny Missing One Liner Women
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
Any place I hang my head is home.
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Hang Head Home One Liner Place
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX

Deviation Dirty Honor Liar Thief Writing Yourself
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Born Democracy People Republic
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Bore Hole Insult Run
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX

Calm Deep Despair Laughter One Liner Peace
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX

Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Life Principles Rules
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX

Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater

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