Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARXI’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX