If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARXI’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX