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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
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