I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARXAnything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX