Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARXAnything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX






