Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARXAnything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX