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Any place I hang my head is home.

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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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I only write first editions.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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