I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARXAny place I hang my head is home.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX -
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
GROUCHO MARX