I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARXAny place I hang my head is home.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX -
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX