If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARXMan does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX






