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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

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Funny Humour Instituation Marriage

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX

Exitement Fun Life One Liner Travel Wrong
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX

Bore Hole Insult Run
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Humour Mind Smoking
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX

Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX

Best Friend Book Darkness Dog Friendship Read
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX

Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX

Cause Chief Divorce Marriage One Liner
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hero Heroine Tits
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX

Age Birthday Interesting Subject
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX

Arrive Dead Future Happiness Inspirational Life Past Present
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX

Event Eyes Happiness Inspirational Morning Myself Power Present Unhappiness
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX

Enough Inspirational Mistake Yourself
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX

Education Heart Heart Beat Listen Metabolism Study
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX

Dreamss Hairs Nurse Red Romance
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX

Against Attitude

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