If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXMarriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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All geniuses die young.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX