A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARXGetting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX -
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX






