Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXGo, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARXYesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARXAll geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARXRoom service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARXOutside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARXWhatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARXI intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARXI only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARXI never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARXEach morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARXI’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARXEither this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARXI never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARXI must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARXWe’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX