All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARXGetting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Room service? Send up a larger room.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX