A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARXGetting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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All geniuses die young.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX






