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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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I only write first editions.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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