I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXAll people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX