I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARXAll people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX