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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.

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Born Democracy People Republic

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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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I only write first editions.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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