No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARXAll people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX -
I only write first editions.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX -
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
GROUCHO MARX






