With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLINThe main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Religion is just mind control.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN