black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.

Bob Hope

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
BOB HOPE

Anymore Country Funny Soon Space
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Friend Good Loss Weight
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return

Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes