The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPEFailure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
BOB HOPE -
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE -
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE -
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE -
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE -
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE -
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE -
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE -
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE -
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE -
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE -
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE -
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE