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The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

Bob Hope

Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

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The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes