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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

Bob Hope

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation

I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.

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Popular Authors

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