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There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “

Bob Hope

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
BOB HOPE

Age Calculate Fingers Rings
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE

Bars Golf Hotter Play
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering

There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “

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Popular Authors

There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes