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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.

Bob Hope

She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.

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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.

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Popular Authors

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