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We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.

Bob Hope

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way
I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
BOB HOPE

Country Courage Devotion Discomfort Face Good Hate Humor More
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE

Ambition Dancing People
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE

Four Girl Lives Sheltered
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE

Brother Country Day Die Husband Veterans
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE

Fields Flatterers Golf Shooting
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards

We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.

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We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.

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Popular Authors

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