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I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

Bob Hope

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE

Music Names Personality Play
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE

Friend Funny Hate Inspiration
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

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I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

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Popular Authors

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