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Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

Bob Hope

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE

Brother Country Day Die Husband Veterans
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE

Baseball Character Kids Personal Plot Side
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting

Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

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Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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