Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
BILL COSBYAnd of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
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When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
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The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.
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It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
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That’s why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.
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If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
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Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
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And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
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Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Man can not live by bread alone, he must have peanut butter.
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The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
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The serve was invented so that the net could play.
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
BILL COSBY