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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Bill Cosby

Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
BILL COSBY

Deep Hear Thinking Voice Woman Yourself
I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!
BILL COSBY

Home Loss Myself
I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBY

Empty Herself Moments Myself Philosophy
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
BILL COSBY

Carry Children End Funny Name
Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.
BILL COSBY

Justice Parents Peace Quiet
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
BILL COSBY

Future Goal Stop Violence World
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
BILL COSBY

Laughter Life Survive Worst
Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
BILL COSBY

Children Home Human
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
BILL COSBY

Children Goodness Ideas Myself Reality Reason Time
And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
BILL COSBY

Doctor Yourself
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
BILL COSBY

Children End Friendship Myself Play
The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.
BILL COSBY

Death Funny Life Reading Worst
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
BILL COSBY

Children Development Music Time Weird
When you become senile, you won’t know it.
BILL COSBY

One Liner Yourself
There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
BILL COSBY

Dignity Person Right
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
BILL COSBY

Dog Teaching Yourself

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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