Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
BILL COSBYI guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
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The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
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When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.
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All Children Have Brain Damage!
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
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The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
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And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.
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It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.
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Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
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In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
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Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
BILL COSBY