Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
BILL COSBYNobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
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Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn’t let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Was not In the men’s room, Julie.
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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.
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When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?
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Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
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Gray hair is gods graffiti.
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As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
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Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.
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It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
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Only stupid one’s.
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When you become senile, you won’t know it.
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Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
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Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.
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The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
BILL COSBY