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Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?

Bill Cosby

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
BILL COSBY

Children Ordinary Parents Talk
As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.
BILL COSBY

Children Mom Myself Oneself Past Science Start Young
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.
BILL COSBY

Children Development Music Time Weird
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.
BILL COSBY

Life Man Pride
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
BILL COSBY

Failure Myself Success
Gray hair is gods graffiti.
BILL COSBY

Art God Hairs One Liner
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
BILL COSBY

Eat Myself Pieces
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
BILL COSBY

Father Funny Love Present
All parents experience the same problems.
BILL COSBY

Experience Parents Problem
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
BILL COSBY

Deep Empty Philosophy Yourself
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
BILL COSBY

Humor Laughter Pain Survive Yourself
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
BILL COSBY

Avoid Law Promise
You are a genius! and I am a genius because I married you.
BILL COSBY

Genius Marriage Yourself
The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.
BILL COSBY

Future Goal Stop Violence World
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
BILL COSBY

Desire Failure Fear Greatness Success
I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty, I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.
BILL COSBY

Empty Herself Moments Myself Philosophy

Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?

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Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?

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