Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
BILL BAILEYI try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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Three women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’
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I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time.
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