There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
BILL BAILEYWhat I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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Stupid National Anthem… Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? “Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit.”
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I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
BILL BAILEY