“Thank God for Darwin, eh?”

I always thought it would be really cool to be playing the drums in the show and then have your astral body or whatever travel all through the audience and dig whatever it’s like out there.

You can’t change people, but most importantly, unless you’re their momma, you don’t even know what’s best for them.

I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.

I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.

Presence always wins out over principles.

Three women walk into a pub and say, ‘Hooray, we’ve colonised a male-dominated joke format’

Well, I happen to have a love of vocal reproduction devices.

Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.

Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.

I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.

There’s more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.

The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.

Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.

I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.

Dad, it’s been an up-and-down road for all of us, but you’ve always been there supporting from afar, texting me Bible verses every single day, telling me you love me every single day. That builds me up and I thank you so much. I love you. I’m just glad you’re part of this journey with us.

Last but not least my family. My brother Tony, I love you. Thank you for beating me up when I was a kid. I always wanted to follow in your footsteps.

This city, all they want us to be is ourselves. You love us how we are. We’re all a work in progress as men and you still love us and I thank you so much for embracing us.

Unfortunately sometimes one can’t do what one thinks is right without making someone else unhappy.

Give, do not lend; after death who will thank you?

Thanks to words, we have been able to rise above the brutes; and thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons.

Standing on that platform, I said a silent prayer. I thanked God for giving me the strength and the opportunity to come back, to play basketball again, and to be part of that whole magnificent Olympic experience. It’s a memory I will always cherish.

First off, I’d like to thank God for changing my life. It let me really realize what life is all about. Basketball is just a platform for me to inspire people, and I realize that.