How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! …no eight!
BILL BAILEYI tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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Work hard, save and live within your means.
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I’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
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Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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This shed does not contain me.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that’s undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
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I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you’ve got to admire the workmanship.
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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