“The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.”

Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

The light music of whiskey falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.

They told me never fall in love, it never works out in your favor. You’re way too young, and right now that’s just human nature.

Incessant falls teach men to reform, and distress rouses their strength. Life springs from calamity, and death from ease.

I like to control everything, and you cannot control everything. You have to at some point say, ‘I let go and I’m going to let the cards fall where they fall; For a #‎ controlfreak , it’s hard.

Been about you since I saw you.

I’m not going to wallow in self-pity and not live my life. There are always going to be some falls in life for everybody, no matter what career you have. You have to roll with the punches and keep going.

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.

I fall in love with anything I do and I always try to do it well.