ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCEFuture. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCE