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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

Ambrose Bierce

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Law Oneself Skills
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Final Funny Rich
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Adventure Knowledge Old Sun Wisdom
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Add Fools Funny Himself Time
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Coward Emergency Himself Legs Thinking
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Degree Independence Intellectual
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Boundary Divorce Relationship
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Disappointment Perspective Time
Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Best Gift God Man
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Blacksmith Cloth Kind Man
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Drive Slave Substitute
Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Governement Party Prevent Rival Run
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Belief Body History Invention Original People True
Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.
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Entertainment Innocent Military Popular
Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Harm Patient Prescription Situation
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fact Himself Mindset Mysterious Nature
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Box Defend Democracy Stage
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Animal Digest Eat Goodness Man Science
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Himself Listening Person Talk
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Fake Fools History Important Rule
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Appearance Art Color Fools White
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Believe Country Democracy Oneself Ruin
Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Beautiful Belief Optimism Ugly
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

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