Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCEHe who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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