“He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.”

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

To the eye of failure success is an accident.

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.

It is not death, it is dying that alarms me.

We are right to take alarm at the first experiment upon our liberties.

Once you turn 25 & above, you need not set the alarm. Your problems will wake you up in the morning.

That’s the purpose of stress. It’s a friend. It’s an alarm clock, built in to let you know that it’s time to do The Work.

And the sound of my smile will be the alarm clock to your morning ears.

The growth of the power of Athens, and the alarm which this inspired in Sparta, made war inevitable.

With a chemical alarm, you’re going to build one that is oversensitive because you would rather the alarm go off and give you a false alarm than to err on the other side

You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.