Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCESelfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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