Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman’s power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE