Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCEDon’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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