Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCEDivorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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