“Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.”

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

To the eye of failure success is an accident.

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

We number our days and divide our seasons. We endlessly define what it is to be in love. When in truth, spring blurs into summer and always has, long before that line was ever drawn.

I will fight in many weight divisions.

Most human beings spend their lives battling with opposing inner forces: what they think they should do versus what they are doing; how they feel about themselves versus how they are; whether they think they’re right and worthy or wrong and unworthy.

The separate self is just the conglomeration of these opposing forces. When the self drops away, inner division drops away with it.

There is division with people in our lives, as well as political division and religious division.

I know not what to do, my mind is divided.

Between calculated risk and reckless decision-making lies the dividing line between profit and loss.

I will never know how you see red and you will never know how I see it. But this separation of consciousness is recognized only after a failure of communication, and our first movement is to believe in an undivided being between us.