“Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.”

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

To the eye of failure success is an accident.

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Bitcoins have no dividend or potential future dividend, therefore not like a stock. More like a collectible or commodity.

The real division is not between conservatives and revolutionaries but between authoritarians and libertarians.

America is at a crossroads – are we going to continue this period of division and chaos, or are we going to step up to this moment and choose unity and truth.

We lose when we are divided. We win when we are united.

Political division, based on color, is entirely artificial; and when it disappears, so will the domination of one color group by another.

Libya is divided into tribes and clans.

We cannot allow ourselves to go on divided.

Bores can be divided into two classes; those who have their own particular subject, and those who do not need a subject.