“True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.”

Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.

MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Each say following another, either hastening or putting off our death–what pleasure does it bring? I count that man worthless whois cheered by empty hopes. No, a noble man must either live or die well.

All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride.

For so remarkably perverse is the nature of man that he despises whoever courts him, and admires whoever will not bend before him.

Wouldst thou know thyself, observe the actions of others. Wouldst thou other men know, look thou within thine own heart.

Men’s best successes come after their disappointments.

A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.

Even weak men when united are powerful.

The man of genius is he and he alone who finds such joy in his art that he will work at it come hell or high water.