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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

Ambrose Bierce

Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Faith Holy Ourselves Religion Scripture Writing
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Care Civilization Government Intelligence Ourselves Reward
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Angry Best Regret Talk Yourself
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Myself Reputation Thinking
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Alarm Difficult Himself Thinking
Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Governement Party Prevent Rival Run
Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fear Idiot One Liner
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Himself Listening Person Talk
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Money Person Praise Wealth
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Belief Body History Invention Original People True
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Advantage Election Good Stolen
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Animal Born Egg Loud Lying
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Happiness Temptation Weakness
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Body Decay Life Selfish
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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Democracy Lamb Lunch Vote Wolf
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Disguised Patience Virtue
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
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Believe Country Democracy Oneself Ruin
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Law Oneself Skills
True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Man Philosophy True Woman
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Administration Condition Country Failure Himself Leaving Person Politics Security
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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God Place Teaching War
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Astrology Custom Easy Fate God Responsibility
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Ambition Death Desire Enemy Friendship
Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Appearance Earth Face Genius God Leaving Nature Original Root Woman
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Food Place Religion Service State
The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Country Development Engagement Existence People Strife

True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.

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