Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCEOptimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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