There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
AMBROSE BIERCEIn our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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