Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCEPatience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
-
-
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
AMBROSE BIERCE -
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE