Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
AMBROSE BIERCELabor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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