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Ambrose Bierce Quote - Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.

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Final Funny Rich

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Assassination Character Weapon
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Man Ocean World
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Believe Country Democracy Oneself Ruin
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Money Person Praise Wealth
Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Age Head Himself See Thinking Wisdom
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Concession Demand Resort
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Machine Technology Transformation
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Appearance Art Color Fools White
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Division Domain Forever Hope Present
Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Democracy Lamb Lunch Vote Wolf
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Blacksmith Cloth Kind Man
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Decay Life Selfish
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Coward Emergency Himself Legs Thinking
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Science Thinking
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Avoid People Selfish
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Boundary Divorce Relationship
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Ambition Death Desire Enemy Friendship
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

God Man One Liner Reason Sleep
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death Edit Revision Sin
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Delusion Experience Observation Reflection Save
Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Betrayal Character Cheating Virtue
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Evil Existence Philosophy Replacement
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Children Cold Compassionate Feeling Love Mom
Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Country Discover Fertilization Person
PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Contrast Fall Sense

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