Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCEConsul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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