ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
AMBROSE BIERCEConsul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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