Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
AMBROSE BIERCEConsul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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