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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

Ambrose Bierce

Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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Company Interior Laughter Noise
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
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Convincing Doubt Enemy Man Person
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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God Place Teaching War
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Advantage Election Good Stolen
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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Device Profit Responsibility
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Fake Fools History Important Rule
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Delusion Experience Observation Reflection Save
$Ambrose Bierce Quote - Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.$

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Bad Mathematics People
Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Country Discover Fertilization Person
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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Breathe Conversation Listening Vocal
Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Labor Pregnant Property
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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Myself Reputation Thinking
REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.
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Avoid Mindset Ourselves Reflection Relationship
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Community Marriage Master Mistress Slave
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Law Oneself Skills
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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God Man One Liner Reason Sleep
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Love Marriage Sanity Temporary
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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Box Defend Democracy Stage
MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Belief Body History Invention Original People True
Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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Conscience Destitution Forget Gift God
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Division Domain Forever Hope Present
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Body Life Missing Spiritual
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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Confession Law Prayer Universe Worth
Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Himself Listening Person Talk
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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Add Fools Funny Himself Time
To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Accident Eyes Failure Perspective Success

An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.

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