“Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.”

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.

Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.

She loved me coming and going, at my worst and at my best. She had a bottomless well of love for me.

I think it’s really important to have a life outside of this [movie] business and just be the best person you can be.

You can have the best vaccines for a woman or her child, but if you can’t get her to come and get them then they won’t work.

I accept my body. I accept how I am and make the best of what I am given.

Don’t worry about achieving. Don’t worry about perfection. Just be there each moment as best you can.

In my view, all that is necessary for faith is the belief that by doing our best we shall succeed in our aims: the improvement of mankind.

Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you.

Money is the best deodorant.