Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCEFidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
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Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
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