black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Ambrose Bierce

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Belief Manifestation Opinion Statement
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Believe Divine Need Neighbor Religion Spiritual
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Art Charm Measurement Nature Worm
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Instrument Worst
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Confirm Degree Democracy Reward
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Death End Estate Himself
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Affair Interest Principle Private
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Act Repeat Word
Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Fear Idiot One Liner
Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Body Decay Life Selfish
A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Convincing Doubt Enemy Man Person
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Astrology Custom Easy Fate God Responsibility
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Boundary Divorce Relationship
An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Advantage Election Good Stolen
Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Each Other Hands International Separate Thief Union
Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Country Discover Fertilization Person
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Affair Assurance Future Happiness Prosperity Time
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Analysis Delusion Himself Philosophy
Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Disguise Education Understand Wisdom
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Brain Science Thinking
Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Disappointment Perspective Time
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Breathe Conversation Listening Vocal
Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Betrayal Character Cheating Virtue
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Division Domain Forever Hope Present
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Add Fools Funny Himself Time
True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Man Philosophy True Woman
Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
AMBROSE BIERCE

Governement Party Prevent Rival Run

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Ambrose Bierce Quotes