“IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.”

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

Fidelity – a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

The mere fact of photographic transposition means a total invention: the capture of a secret reality.

There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.

Facts which at first seem improbable will, even on scant explanation, drop the cloak which has hidden them and stand forth in naked and simple beauty.

I’ve never tried to hide the fact that it is my intention to become the best.

When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.

There’s a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure truth.

Facts speak plainer than words.