“To the eye of failure success is an accident.”

Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter.

You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.

PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.

Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.

Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily.

I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work.

Let us save what remains: not by vaults and locks which fence them from the public eye and use in consigning them to the waste of time, but by such a multiplication of copies, as shall place them beyond the reach of accident.

Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human.

Excellence is a continuous process and not an accident.

There are the people who really, really enjoy being celebrities, and then there are the people who came by it maybe by accident.

I think you accidentally learn things in high school that turn out to be life lessons when you are able to step back a bit and study them in more depth.

Life and death are too resolute, too implacable to be accidental.