There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don’t know.
AMBROSE BIERCEWhat is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.
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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
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Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
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