Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCEThe only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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The partisan strife in which the people of the country are permitted to periodically engage does not tend to the development of ugly traits of character, but merely discloses those that preexist.
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You don’t have to be stupid to be a Christian, but it probably helps.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
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I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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